Story Time
A place where creative storytellers can post their original tales on the web to share with other PurplePJers.
I Can't Say Anything (part 1)
I suck at the whole ‘relationships’ thing. I’ve got NO idea. I never have and I’m starting to believe I never will. I can’t say anything. I want to, but I know it’s better not to. The last time I said something it made no difference whatsoever; in fact it made things worse.
I’ve resigned myself to suffering in silence.
“I’m so excited that you’re coming!!” Clara yelled at me down the phone, so loudly that I had to hold it away from my ear to prevent my eardrums bursting.
“I am too!!” I squealed back, “This will be the first time I’ll be going interstate!!”
“Oh it’s going to be SO MUCH FUN!!” I could hear Clara jumping up and down with excitement, “and what’s even better is that you’ll get to see DEAN!”
“Yeah I haven’t seen him in about, oh, a trillion years!” I feigned a normal level of excitement, even though my heart was jumping at the thought of him more than Clara was jumping in her bedroom.
“And you will get to see Kitty and Maurice as well!!” Clara hollered down the phone again.
“I’m looking forward to it heaps!” I said genuinely.
“Anyways, lovely I must away, I have to get everything ready for when you come tomorrow!! Night-night and see you tomorooooowww!!” Clara hung up.
As soon as I boarded the plane the next day, I wanted to run back up the gangway, go find my bag and go home again. I was dreading the flight and dreading seeing Dean even more. I found my seat and stowed my satchel under my chair, thinking this was all a big mistake, yet still yearning to see him. I settled myself in my seat and looked through the airline magazine stuffed in the holder in front of me to kill time. My tummy was churning and I wish I had brought some antacids from the airport chemist when I bought a stick of deodorant and cough lollies.
Too late now, I thought as the captain announced a welcome over the intercom.
“Ladies and gentleman, please find your seats promptly, this flight will take off in approximately 15 minutes, thank you for flying Virgin Blue and enjoy your flight”
I rummaged in my bag and took out my newly-purchased book on evangelism. My logic was that I had one and a half hours to kill, and I might as well try out some of the techniques I’d read about… but then I looked at the empty seats next to me and felt rather doubtful.
They ended up staying empty for the entire flight.
The doubtful feelings lingered, and worse still, new ones came, making me feel very alone.
Walking off the plane and into the terminal, I was greeted with a tacky-looking "Welcome to Sunny Bris-Vegas" (aka - Brisbane) sign. I walked around the corner and spotted Clara waiting for me, waving like a maniac.
"HELLOOOOOO!!!" she yelled at me and I swear one of my ribs cracked when she gave me a huge bear hug.
"Come on, let's go!" she practically dragged me over to the luggage claim area.
"Give me a second, Clara!" I said, re-adjusting the mountain of carry-on luggage in my arms.
We found my bag, paid for parking and set off for Clara's house.
"This is Maurice!!" Clara exclaimed, standing proudly next to a large fish tank in her bedroom. I peered into it, wondering if Maurice was a log... because I couldn't see anything else. Then a small head slowly appeared out from inside the log. "He's an axolotl," Clara said, looking clucky.
"He's so cute!," I said, "Has Dean seen him??"
"No he hasn't," Claire went out into the hall and rummaged around in the linen cupboard, "but I invited him over tomorrow to hang out, so he will see him then, and you!!"
I froze, but a feeling of warmth suddenly came and settled itself in the pit of my stomach and slowly spread all over my body. "Really?" I asked, a little too eagerly.
"Yeah, I forgot to tell you that I don't have to go to university tomorrow night so I thought we could all grab dinner together," Clara said, coming back in with some folded sheets and a blanket in her arms, "Is that ok??"
"Of course!" I reassured her and started helping her to make my bed.
"Finally I get to see him!" I thought, and butterflies joined the warm feeling in my tummy.
At breakfast the next morning, Clara said, "It sucks that you can only stay for one night." She gave me a plate to put my toast on.
"Yeah," I said. "My stupid work won't give me leave," I fumbled with the knife I had taken out to spread the honey and almost dropped it.
"You're acting weird," Clara said. "What's up?"
"Nothing!" I said, recovering myself. "Nothing at all,"
Clara studied my face. I could feel her eyes reading my thoughts, as though she had x-ray thought-vision. I felt my cheeks flushing. She was sure to work out what I was thinking about... he was the only thing I was thinking about.
"Are you sure you're ok?" She asked slowly.
"Yep!" I replied brightly and took a big bite out of my toast.
She didn't look convinced but didn't say anything else.
As the Saturday morning sun lazily peaked in the sky, Clara and I were ready to get out and about. Clara wanted to go shopping for the day and I agreed, but that sinking feeling that I felt on the plane returned when I realized that we would run the risk of seeing Dean at the shops.
"We can go shopping anywhere, let's go to Cromely beach," I suggested.
"Hey, yeah! That's a better idea; we can ask Aimee and Kitty to come too!" Clara dug around in her handbag, "I'll call them now and you can go get ready,"
"Sounds like a plan!" I emptied my bag onto my bed and fished out my bikini. I went into the bathroom. After I finished dressing I put sun cream on. When I looked in the mirror to put some on my face I was shocked at the rather large bags that I'd accumulated under my eyes.
"Note to self," I murmured, "Get more sleep."
And stop thinking about Dean so much, the little voice in my head piped up. Deep down I knew it was right. I didn't even know if Dean felt the same way. "Ok," I said aloud to myself, "No thinking about Dean until you have to see him. Period. No exceptions."
I’ve resigned myself to suffering in silence.
“I’m so excited that you’re coming!!” Clara yelled at me down the phone, so loudly that I had to hold it away from my ear to prevent my eardrums bursting.
“I am too!!” I squealed back, “This will be the first time I’ll be going interstate!!”
“Oh it’s going to be SO MUCH FUN!!” I could hear Clara jumping up and down with excitement, “and what’s even better is that you’ll get to see DEAN!”
“Yeah I haven’t seen him in about, oh, a trillion years!” I feigned a normal level of excitement, even though my heart was jumping at the thought of him more than Clara was jumping in her bedroom.
“And you will get to see Kitty and Maurice as well!!” Clara hollered down the phone again.
“I’m looking forward to it heaps!” I said genuinely.
“Anyways, lovely I must away, I have to get everything ready for when you come tomorrow!! Night-night and see you tomorooooowww!!” Clara hung up.
As soon as I boarded the plane the next day, I wanted to run back up the gangway, go find my bag and go home again. I was dreading the flight and dreading seeing Dean even more. I found my seat and stowed my satchel under my chair, thinking this was all a big mistake, yet still yearning to see him. I settled myself in my seat and looked through the airline magazine stuffed in the holder in front of me to kill time. My tummy was churning and I wish I had brought some antacids from the airport chemist when I bought a stick of deodorant and cough lollies.
Too late now, I thought as the captain announced a welcome over the intercom.
“Ladies and gentleman, please find your seats promptly, this flight will take off in approximately 15 minutes, thank you for flying Virgin Blue and enjoy your flight”
I rummaged in my bag and took out my newly-purchased book on evangelism. My logic was that I had one and a half hours to kill, and I might as well try out some of the techniques I’d read about… but then I looked at the empty seats next to me and felt rather doubtful.
They ended up staying empty for the entire flight.
The doubtful feelings lingered, and worse still, new ones came, making me feel very alone.
Walking off the plane and into the terminal, I was greeted with a tacky-looking "Welcome to Sunny Bris-Vegas" (aka - Brisbane) sign. I walked around the corner and spotted Clara waiting for me, waving like a maniac.
"HELLOOOOOO!!!" she yelled at me and I swear one of my ribs cracked when she gave me a huge bear hug.
"Come on, let's go!" she practically dragged me over to the luggage claim area.
"Give me a second, Clara!" I said, re-adjusting the mountain of carry-on luggage in my arms.
We found my bag, paid for parking and set off for Clara's house.
"This is Maurice!!" Clara exclaimed, standing proudly next to a large fish tank in her bedroom. I peered into it, wondering if Maurice was a log... because I couldn't see anything else. Then a small head slowly appeared out from inside the log. "He's an axolotl," Clara said, looking clucky.
"He's so cute!," I said, "Has Dean seen him??"
"No he hasn't," Claire went out into the hall and rummaged around in the linen cupboard, "but I invited him over tomorrow to hang out, so he will see him then, and you!!"
I froze, but a feeling of warmth suddenly came and settled itself in the pit of my stomach and slowly spread all over my body. "Really?" I asked, a little too eagerly.
"Yeah, I forgot to tell you that I don't have to go to university tomorrow night so I thought we could all grab dinner together," Clara said, coming back in with some folded sheets and a blanket in her arms, "Is that ok??"
"Of course!" I reassured her and started helping her to make my bed.
"Finally I get to see him!" I thought, and butterflies joined the warm feeling in my tummy.
At breakfast the next morning, Clara said, "It sucks that you can only stay for one night." She gave me a plate to put my toast on.
"Yeah," I said. "My stupid work won't give me leave," I fumbled with the knife I had taken out to spread the honey and almost dropped it.
"You're acting weird," Clara said. "What's up?"
"Nothing!" I said, recovering myself. "Nothing at all,"
Clara studied my face. I could feel her eyes reading my thoughts, as though she had x-ray thought-vision. I felt my cheeks flushing. She was sure to work out what I was thinking about... he was the only thing I was thinking about.
"Are you sure you're ok?" She asked slowly.
"Yep!" I replied brightly and took a big bite out of my toast.
She didn't look convinced but didn't say anything else.
As the Saturday morning sun lazily peaked in the sky, Clara and I were ready to get out and about. Clara wanted to go shopping for the day and I agreed, but that sinking feeling that I felt on the plane returned when I realized that we would run the risk of seeing Dean at the shops.
"We can go shopping anywhere, let's go to Cromely beach," I suggested.
"Hey, yeah! That's a better idea; we can ask Aimee and Kitty to come too!" Clara dug around in her handbag, "I'll call them now and you can go get ready,"
"Sounds like a plan!" I emptied my bag onto my bed and fished out my bikini. I went into the bathroom. After I finished dressing I put sun cream on. When I looked in the mirror to put some on my face I was shocked at the rather large bags that I'd accumulated under my eyes.
"Note to self," I murmured, "Get more sleep."
And stop thinking about Dean so much, the little voice in my head piped up. Deep down I knew it was right. I didn't even know if Dean felt the same way. "Ok," I said aloud to myself, "No thinking about Dean until you have to see him. Period. No exceptions."
M.J.'s comment: Thanks for the story, Anna; it's really good! Readers, stay tuned next week for part 2 of I Can't Say Anything!