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Guy Meets Girl

I met this guy a year ago. He works at a place that I frequent all the time. About five months after we met, he asked if I was single and I told him yes. Then a while after that, we began texting when we weren't around each other. Then we started texting ALL the time and it was great. We still saw each other all the time, too, and everything was awesome. Then in December, he finally asked me out and we went out and had a lot of fun. He'd promised he would take me out again.

Two months went by before that happened, and even before we went out for the second date, he had slowly stopped texting me for the most part. Yet, we went out on a second date and had our first kiss. He then asked me where I wanted to go on our third date and things like that. It's been over a week since our second date and the only time I talk to him now is when I go to the place I frequented so much.

Last night, I got up the courage and put my pride aside and I asked him when we could go out again. I told him I wasn't going to bother him, I just wanted him to think about it. Now I don't have a clue what he's thinking. I've tried asking others but they're no help. This whole situation has me feeling really bad and confused. Please, please help me! He's told me that I'm special and around the time of our first date, he gave me a keepsake that's very important to him and hasn't asked for it back or anything. I'm just so confused. Please help me. Thank you SO much.

4sure86 | age 19 | March 8, 2010

Daniel says...

You put yourself out there and indicated your interest to him. Anything you do beyond that could give off the vibe of a girl who is a little overeager to get into a more serious relationship - a vibe that often causes guys to drop everything for an all-out sprint in the opposite direction. It sounds like your story with this guy is a fairly common one:

1. Guy and girl know one another casually.
2. Guy and girl get to know one another better.
3. Guy and girl seem to like one another.
4. Guy and girl communicate frequently - even bordering on a weird amount of communication.
5. Either guy or girl starts to lose interest.
6. Other party realizes and tries to win the other person back.

At this point, there isn't much you should do. You told him you wanted to go out with him again, which is plenty to reassure him should he be lacking confidence in some regard. He needs to pursue you, not only to prove to you that he is interested but also to prove to himself that he is capable of doing so. Guys need to put forth some of the effort in starting a relationship or they don't have anything invested in the success of the relationship and will be tempted to leave at the first sign of trouble. Let things play out now. If he doesn't pursue you after your attempts, then the interest in a long-term relationship simply may not be there.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, pursuing a relationship

Published on March 8, 2010 by Daniel | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.