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A Date to the Dance

I need help. Sometimes boys can be just so confusing.

He's my best friend - has been for a while now. We get along so well and are great together. There's never an awkward moment between us and we can tell each other anything. All my other friends think the relationship between us is...weird. Everyone says we flirt a lot and most people think we have dated or are dating. I don't really notice the flirting or closeness between us because it's just natural. We don't do it purposely or anything.

A few months back I kind of had a mini crush on him, and I told him so. But then that ended when I met my boyfriend (ex-boyfriend now). A week ago he told me that when I liked him he also sort of liked me, but didn't tell me because he didn't want to give me hope, and I understand what he means and am kind of glad he didn't tell me.

Lately we've been really, really close, mentally and physically. And he pointed that out and asked me if it was alright (he's sweet like that). Of course I said it was alright because I like being close to him. A little while after I said that he asked if I wanted to go to grad with him. I wondered if he was asking me as a friend or something more so I asked him that. And he said, "well, what do you want to go as?" And somehow we got off topic and I didn't end up answering the question. But I told him I'd go with him.

I am really confused. Does he want us to be more then friends? I think I am starting to fall for him again. But he knows how I feel about him and that I would date him, so ugghh. I don't exactly know what to do. I cannot risk our friendship, I love him a lot and I want him in my life forever, whether it's as a friend or something more. Help me please.

Anonymous | age 13 | March 6, 2010

Daniel says...

You don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to, and based on your behavior with this guy, he fully expected you to say that you wanted to go with him to the dance as an actual date. At the very least, he expected you to hedge because you were uncomfortable admitting your feelings for him (which is basically the path you followed). The two of you obviously trust one another very much and that trust is important because it makes it very unlikely that he would play games with you or put you in a position where you could be embarrassed or rejected. When two people have the history and the type of relationship the two of you do, they simply don't do things that could hurt one another.

What your friend was going was trying to have a relationship with you in kind of a roundabout way that didn't require him to go way out on a limb. Asking a girl to a dance is a common way to break the relationship ice without having too much pressure. Dances provide something to do that is quasi-romantic, yet you're still with all your friends. So the two of you are definitely going to the dance. It sounds like the two of you hang out relatively often, so next time you're hanging out with one another, I would casually bring up the subject. You could simply say, "I never gave you an answer when you asked what I wanted to go to the dance as." He'll inevitably respond with something that encourages you to go on and you can tell him exactly how you feel. He's looking for an opportunity to get closer to you - an invitation of sorts. If you like him, then go ahead and give it to him!

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, converting a friendship, dances

Published on March 6, 2010 by Daniel | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.