Coming of Age
That arduous process of growing up generates tales of joy, pain, and revelation. Share your tales of Coming of Age and learn from others' experiences of metamorphosis from child to adult.
Dealing with a Broken Heart
Last week: Body Image
I know this is late but I hate how in today's society, the girls that magazines tell us to look like, are the ones that end up in treatment centers for eating disorders. Are they trying to make the average American girl sick and unhealthy? I have a friend who looks like all the famous young women society tells us to look like, and she's been in treatment for an eating disorder, and it's really screwed up her life. She's had to miss out on most of her senior year of high school, along with most of her freshmen year of college, and a few times, she's almost missed out on having a life. She will most likely never be able to have children (which is something she always wanted to do). What I'm getting at is being that thin destroys your life; It doesn't make you happy, you always feel awful, and you don't have the strength to do anything. So for all you girls out there who are maybe considering making yourself (I say making because naturally i don't think anyone can be that skinny) that skinny, think about how it will effect your lives, and see if it's worth loosing the most important time in your life, or quit easily your life
This Week: Broken Heart
I'm currently coping with it right now. My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me three months ago and it seems like it was a while ago, but it still hurts. Time does make it a little bit better, but there are still memories that haunt me. Especially when I'm trying to fall asleep, memories of us flash into my head, and it makes it hard to relax. He's such a beautiful person and I think the world of him...he just doesn't of me. I just need to meet someone else to take my mind off of him and move on...it's just a lot easier said than done.
I'm going to be a senior in September, and my freshmen year I went out with this junior. He was such a badass, and because I'm such a "good girl" I obviously fell really hard. One day he just completely stopped talking to me, and allow me to say time does not heal all wounds. It's been three years and it still makes me angry to hear his stupid name. The way I try and get over a broken heart, is to occupy myself with other guys. Not nice for them, but hey you gotta do what you gotta do.
I would say I've probably gotten my heart broken and I don't believe time heals all wounds, I think, well at least for me, I just kind of block it out and try to move on. But sometimes I think this is worse, because if confronted with that issuse, I will often kind of have my own inside mini panic attack, and it causes buried angst to come back raw. I think I will have to work on that.
Next time on Coming of Age...
Secret Admirer
Have you ever had a secret admirer? Have you ever been someone's secret admirer? What lengths did you go to to let your Sweetheart know your feelings? Or how far did you have to go to reveal the identity of your secret crush? Write in with your stories, I have a feeling this'll be a good'un!
'Alloo :) I'm Shan and I'm 19. I live in the gorgeous city of London (whoop!) but love travelling and finding new places to explore in this mixed bag of a country! I'm currently doing a degree in English Language, after which I hope to become Lois Lane (aka. journalist extraordinaire) and I've also been in a steady long-distance relationship with my own Superman for over 3 years :) I am music obsessed! (ditto for television and books) and if I could I would own 100 cats (but will stick to 3 for the time being) and daydream all day, every day :)
Shan's comment: "What becomes of the broken hearted..." is a very good line from the famous song that sums up this week's dilemma: how do you deal with your broken heart?
Time heals all wounds?
They say that time heals all wounds; the theory is that by time passing, you're emotions become less raw and extreme and thus you start to get back to feeling normal again. However a few of you wrote in and told me how time just doesn't do it for you. You find that you have to psychically do something else to spur yourself to move on and deal with your broken heart and feelings.
The Recovery Scale
When I asked my friends this question, they told me that there are two main things that determine how broken your heart gets:
1) The reason for the break up (who was to blame and why)
and 2) The likelihood of the relationship rekindling, i.e. The Unresolved Factor
My friends told me that in 99.9% of their break ups, if the other person had caused the break up and as a result, the relationship became very much "on/off", then their heart got broken much more severely and took much longer to heal.
The Verdict
So do they have a point? My answer: Hell yes. Ofcourse you're going to be more heartbroken if the break up was a bit sticky or ugly. You'll have the memory of all those horrible words/silences/angry text messages (delete as appropriate!) stuck in your head, on non-stop replay. Suddenly your favourite restuarant is now your number #1 place to avoid. And you can't help but feel a tear whenever you hear someone mention him. BUT what I can say is that whatever your break up situation, it hurts. However, luckily you're not alone - so when your heart gets trodden on rather severely, grab a few of your kindest, closest girls, get some Ben and Jerrys and a FUNNY (not romantic) DVD and have a fun AND relaxing night in. You'll find yourself laughing and feeling like your old self very, very quickly.
PS. Unlimited supplies of chocolate also help ease the pain of heart break - just not heart shaped chocolates.