Ask a Guy
Drunk Driving Limitations
Daniel's advice: I'm not an expert on Canadian drunk driving laws, but Wikipedia indicates that there is a nationwide 0.08 drunk driving law. If this is the case, then this means that a blood-alcohol content of 8% means you are legally impaired. There are a few caveats to this number. First, this is the number for adults. I am not sure what it is in Canada, but here in the U.S. most states have passed 0.02 laws. These laws basically make it so that if anyone under 21 has so much as a single drink and then gets pulled over, they could get a DUI. Another caveat to this number is that your body weight significantly impacts the number of drinks you can have before reaching the legal limit. The University of Oklahoma has a very detailed BAC calculator you can use to estimate blood-alcohol content after a given number of drinks.
As far as how much you can drink before you show physical signs of impairment, you are right that a single drink can be enough to affect someone's ability to drive. It's always difficult to gauge this because people respond to alcohol differently, they mix their drinks differently (a single mixed drink to one person may have as much alcohol as three of another person's drinks), and some people just plain don't tell the truth when asked how much they've had to drink. You are right that it's always safest to not get in the car with someone who has been drinking - no matter how much they have had.
What Do Guys Want?
Daniel's advice: Most guys are looking for a girl who stands out but doesn't draw attention. They're looking for someone unique but not odd. As far as the submissive/dominant issue, most guys want someone who will stand up for what she believes in but when a decision or opinion really doesn't matter, they aren't going to get bent out of shape about it. Almost all guys would like a girl who isn't afraid to express what she wants.
Every guy has different traits he looks for in a girl, but one thing that generally holds true is that a guy doesn't want to feel abused. Guys don't want to feel like they are being controlled and manipulated by a girl, but they also don't want to feel like the girl is a little puppy who will fetch whatever and whenever they say. Basically, guys are looking for a partnership. The amount of partnership will vary to some degree based on the guy, but the main thing you need to do is focus on being yourself. That's the only way you will ever attract the right guy and be truly happy in a relationship.
An Awkward Conversation
I also have another thing that bothers me about him. He and some girls always leave comments to each other that I think seem completely out of line. Is there any way I can get them to back off without seeming stalkerish and controlling?
Daniel's advice: To your first question, you need to simply open up and tell your boyfriend what you're thinking before your hard feelings poison your relationship completely. Sit down with your boyfriend and start by saying you've had some lingering hard feelings ever since the two of you got back together. Tell him very simply that it hurts your feelings that he spent prom night, your special night, with this other girl while you were left home alone. If you want to go into truly full disclosure mode, you could even admit that you were somewhat relieved that he didn't have that great a time.
As for the comments to other girls, just ask him why he leaves comments like that for girls where everyone can see them. Point out that it reflects poorly on both of you and that you just don't think it's appropriate for him to leave those kinds of comments when he's dating someone else. This might upset him, but you have to be able to speak your mind. If you're constantly in fear of what your boyfriend will think if you speak your mind, then you have to ask yourself if it's really that healthy of a relationship.
In the future, I would make sure you don't let one person make your decision for you when it comes to something like prom. You only get a certain number of nights like that and skipping one just because your boyfriend decides to be a renob will probably be a decision you regret in a few years.
Summer Daytime Activities
I was wondering if you could suggest some cool activities for us to do together over the summer...preferably inexpensive things as we've already put a lot of money into a holiday. During the day, we usually just go to parks or something and relax, but do you have any cool suggestions about what guys like to do?
Thank you!
Daniel's advice: Well, guys always love going to the local pool with girls. It gives them an excuse to see their girlfriend or crush in a swimsuit and it lets them blow off a little steam...and not to mention do some heavy flirting. You can also try doing something completely out of the ordinary like hopping on public transit and riding around town. Head to some areas of town you've never been and just see sights or laugh at funny things you might see.
Speaking of summertime activities in the UK, I thought everyone always went to Stonehenge. No?
At any rate, finding good summer activities is just a matter of thinking outside the box a little. Go for a carriage ride if there's a place nearby that gives horse-drawn rides...the possibilities are really endless. Just use some of the time while you are falling asleep each night to think of some possible ideas for the next day. Good luck!
Born, raised, and educated in Iowa, Daniel (age 26) now works in Minneapolis as an electrical engineer. Four years of college, three years in the workforce, twelve months in California, eight months of being engaged to the wrong person, and a recent marriage to the right person have taught Daniel a lot about life, love, and the US highway system.