PurplePJs 

Mixed Messages
(Ask A Guy)

I have a problem with my best guy friend. And by "problem," I mean that I feel like I'm in love with him. We're both 20 years old and we go to the same university. He and I have been very good friends for about five years and about six months ago, he broke up with his girlfriend of two years. We've become even closer since then. But I

quitesmashing | age 19 | March 11, 2010

Daniel says...

It sure sounds like he really wants to be with you, but it doesn't sound like either of you has really pushed the envelope. This includes you. You threatened him with ending your friendship, but it appears as though you never told him what you wanted from him. This is somewhat like storming into your parents' house, screaming at them, announcing you're so mad at them and that you're moving out and never stating what they did that made you so mad. Aside from that, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Coming into a discussion with a "hellfire and damnation" attitude will set people on their heels and force them into a defensive viewpoint. By engaging in informative discussions that tell people what you're feeling

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Published on March 10, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, converting a friendship, growing a relationship

Investing My Time
(Ask A Guy)

I just started dating this guy about a month ago. He is all the things I have been looking for in a man. He is kind, sweet, understanding, God-fearing, motivated, and more. He calls daily and takes me out weekly, but when I asked what is possible between us, he says he thinks that everything is great that we would be compatible in certain

modesty1178 | age 31 | March 11, 2010

Daniel says...

Many people (and this goes for guys and girls) need some time to truly analyze a relationship and decide whether it is the best thing for them going forward. In many cases, this takes more than a month. Sometimes, things just "click" and a couple finds themselves unavoidably attracted to one another, but that is certainly not always the case. As people get older, they become less willing to take overt risks in relationships and more inclined to take things slower and let things develop naturally. When we're teenagers, we want to meet someone, flirt with them, and jump into exclusive dating at the blink of an eye. But as we get more "wise" in the ways of the world, we tend to take our time. This is exactly what this guy is

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Published on March 10, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, gauging interest, getting to know your significant other

It Was Really Just A Joke
(Ask A Guy)

I met a guy at university and I started liking him. Then I found out he really likes me. We talked couple times, but it was just normal conversations. Then I was just messing around and said I'm not his friend. He is not talking to me now, but I know deep down he really does like me because he is always looking at me. He just makes it look

Sweety | age 19 | March 10, 2010

Daniel says...

Odds are there is a very good reason why he isn't talking to you. Most guys are capable of sensing sarcasm and telling him you're not his friend would certainly have rang as more than a little sarcastic. Maybe he is busy, perhaps he has a lot on his mind, or there could be countless other possible explanations for his sudden lack of interest. If he doesn't straighten up in the next few days, then you really need to consider whether this guy is mature enough for you. If what you said had been truly and unequivocally offensive, then there's something to be said for him withdrawing a bit. But if he's going to be pissy about a little joke without even telling you he's offended or letting you correct the situation, then maybe you

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Published on March 9, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, communication, hurt feelings, joking around

I Can’t Call Him - Now What?!?!
(Ask A Guy)

I like this guy and we pass each other in the hall. Sometimes we smile at each other and say hey, but I would really like to hang out and talk with him more. What is a good way to get us to hang out with each other and talk more? He doesn't go on Myspace very often and my phone is broken right now so we can eliminate those two

Anonymous | age 16 | March 10, 2010

Daniel says...

Fear not. If talking to this guy online and talking to him on the phone aren't options, then there are still three perfectly viable options:

1. Letters via the U.S. Postal Service or another registered delivery service
2. Carrier pigeon
3. Actually talking to him

You already say hi to this guy, so you at least communicate on some basic level with him. He knows you exist and he isn't ignoring you when you say hi to him, so it's highly unlikely that he would do so if you started saying something more than just hi to him when you pass him in the hall.

The most important thing is to make sure he knows your name. If he does, then that's great. But if he doesn't, then you need to introduce yourself to him. Something like, "hi, I've noticed you

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Published on March 9, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, communication, gauging interest, developing a relationship

Michael Jackson - again
(Scandalicious)

I'm sure many of us remember the death of Michael Jackson last summer, and all of the controversy surrounding it (as well as his life in general): Was it a suicide, an accident, or murder? Should the doctor who prescribed the medication be held responsible for his overdose? Was he guilty of child molestation, or was it just a ploy for money and publicity? The questions can go on and on, and regardless of your opinions of him - as a person, a celebrity, or a musician - you cannot deny that, for several weeks, his death was at the forefront of a lot of (at least American) media.

And then, time passed. Other things happened, and Michael Jackson stopped being the most important thing going on (though many questioned whether his death Continue reading!

Published on March 9, 2010 by JamieG | No Comments | Read all recent Scandalicious articles.

Tags: death, celebrities, michael jackson, scandal

Trust Is Kind of Important
(Ask A Guy)

I need some help. I met two guys this week (Clay and Sam). They're both 21, if that helps. They're from around my hometown because I was in town for spring break. A friend's boyfriend gave them my number. I hung out with Clay the night I met them and it turns out the two guys are best friends. I knew I really liked Sam. He asked me out on

alwaystheirbro | age 19 | March 9, 2010

Daniel says...

Okay, you live two hours away from these guys and you have known them for all of a week and you're convinced you want to fall on your sword for one of them. It seems that you are jumping to conclusions just a bit. You don't know these guys all that well and yet you are very clearly meddling in their friendship. You justify it to yourself that you are "just trying to set things straight," but you manipulated them into seeing things your way. And then, even worse, you didn't trust them to talk to one another and work things out! They're best friends, and yet you didn't think they would make the decision that was best for them and their friendship. In effect, you pit the two of them against one another and hoped you would come

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Published on March 9, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, trust, meddling in friendships

We Kissed At A Party
(Ask A Guy)

There is this guy I like. He came up to me at a party and kissed me, and we went somewhere else and made out. Afterward we danced a bit and when he left he kissed me goodbye and said, "see you at school." At school the Monday after the party he came up to me at my locker and asked me how I was. I was like, "ohh, I'm fine." We had a brief

flola | age 16 | March 9, 2010

Daniel says...

This guy certainly hasn't knocked your socks off with his pursuit of you, so there's no point in going overboard trying to pursue him, either. There's nothing wrong with talking to this guy and maintaining casual communication with him. In fact, I would recommend remaining on friendly terms with him. This can be accomplished relatively easily - with an occasional conversation. Saying hi in the hallway, approaching him at his locker, and just making idle chit-chat from time to time are appropriate ways of doing so. Whatever you do, don't put too much emphasis on starting a spark with this guy right now. First, the harder you try, the more desperate you appear, and the less likely you are to actually win him over. Second, this

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Published on March 8, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, approaching a guy, parties

The Object of Ridicule
(Ask A Guy)

Hey Daniel!

First I'd like to say that I love your page and I'd really appreciate your opinion on my dilemma.

My high school is full of jerks. If they're not talking about sex they're teasing or making fun of someone. But then there's this really nice guy in my class. We've known each other for a pretty long time and we used to date when

Anonymous | age 16 | March 8, 2010

Daniel says...

It's a common (though flawed) response to wonder when it is appropriate to talk to teachers or the school administration about something that amounts to low-level harassment. The fact of the matter is that, as long as someone's well-being is not at risk, you do need to learn to manage situations like this yourself. So kudos to you for seeking ways to do so. It shows that you are serious about defending yourself and learning how to handle these situations will help you in the future.

The key to managing situations in which you are the object of ridicule is to mock and degrade the jokes that are being told. Don't point your mockery at the people themselves because that will only incite more vicious responses. But if you can use

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Published on March 8, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, defending yourself, dealing with insults

Guy Meets Girl
(Ask A Guy)

I met this guy a year ago. He works at a place that I frequent all the time. About five months after we met, he asked if I was single and I told him yes. Then a while after that, we began texting when we weren't around each other. Then we started texting ALL the time and it was great. We still saw each other all the time, too, and

4sure86 | age 19 | March 8, 2010

Daniel says...

You put yourself out there and indicated your interest to him. Anything you do beyond that could give off the vibe of a girl who is a little overeager to get into a more serious relationship - a vibe that often causes guys to drop everything for an all-out sprint in the opposite direction. It sounds like your story with this guy is a fairly common one:

1. Guy and girl know one another casually.
2. Guy and girl get to know one another better.
3. Guy and girl seem to like one another.
4. Guy and girl communicate frequently - even bordering on a weird amount of communication.
5. Either guy or girl starts to lose interest.
6. Other party realizes and tries to win the other person back.

At this point, there isn't much you should do. You told him you wanted

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Published on March 8, 2010 by Daniel | 1 Comment | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, pursuing a relationship

Mysterious Bleeding
(Sex Ed 101)

I'm hoping for your view on a situation. Backstory: I've been sexually active for 5 years and have only ever been with one partner (and he has only ever been with me.) I am currently on the pill and we always use condoms. The first time we had sex I bled a bit, but haven't ever sine. Yesterday we had sex, and once we finished we noticed

juniejanie | age 20 | March 8, 2010

JamieG says...

He probably scratched you, or caused a minor tear during intercourse; unless the bleeding persists (I'd give it another day or so) or gets worse, you should be fine. And, of course, there's always the possibility that you're just spotting independently from Continue reading!

Published on March 9, 2010 by JamieG | No Comments | Read all recent Sex Ed 101 articles.

Tags: bleeding, doctor

Health News - Body, Mind & Soul
(Health Nut)

In the news this week...  

• Novelist says girls are ready to have babies at 14
• Too little sleep linked to increased belly fat
• To buy happiness, book a plane ticket
• Top 10 College Majors For Women

Top Stories

Sex infection frankness is 'key to long relationship' (BBC) - Young people think frank conversations about their sex lives signal that a relationship will last, says a survey.  The government-funded Populus poll of more than 1,200 15 to 24-year-olds cited talking about sexual infections and a person's sexual past as key.  They even thought this was a better sign of a relationship getting serious than meeting parents.  But 73% admitted that they did not talk about sexually transmitted diseases before having sex with a new Continue reading!

Published on March 7, 2010 by Jamie | No Comments | Read all recent Health Nut articles.

Tags: health nut, health news

Unnecessary Chances
(Ask A Guy)

I was on and off with a guy for about two and a half years. He finally officially ended it saying that it isn't going to work right now and he doesn't have the same feelings. Since then I have been giving him space and not contacting him. He then texted me that he is probably going to regret breaking things off. So if he says he is going

anonymous | age 24 | March 7, 2010

Daniel says...

Keep in mind that he said he is probably going to regret breaking things off with you. And that itself may be the problem. If he only thinks he might regret breaking up with you, he may not be feeling the emotions he wants to feel or thinks he should be feeling. The bottom line is that he is questioning his feelings for you and, as a result, he ran away. Rather than talking about his concerns and feelings with you, he decided to take it upon himself to "resolve" the issue by breaking up with you and leaving you without the chance or the ability to address whatever problems he may have. Knowledge is power and the least he could have done was give you a little forewarning.

If he comes back to you because he does wind up

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Published on March 7, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, taking chances, saying goodbye

Relationships After High School
(Big Sister)

I'm a junior in high school, and I've been thinking about my options after I graduate. Just recently, I decided that I want to move to a city pretty far away from where I currently live (about 9, if you drive), and my boyfriend of nearly 3 years is still undecided about his plans after graduation. I know it's still a year from now until

Lizabeth | age 16 | March 7, 2010

Ivette says...

This is a tricky situation because you've been with your boyfriend since you were around 13-14. I would say explore your options but do not limit yourself and stay in your hometown just because your boyfriend will be. Some people break up after high school and some end up marrying their high school sweet hearts. We can't read into the future and see what will be the fate of your relationship, but try to prioritize what's important in your life at this point. You both are still very young and jumping into "let's move in together!" will be pretty intense even if you've been with him for nearly 3 years. One of you will have to take the decision and start talking about what will happen in the future. This will be an important time to Continue reading!

Published on March 7, 2010 by Ivette | No Comments | Read all recent Big Sister articles.

Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, college, girl, high school, long distance, boy, moving in, plans after graduation

Getting Over It
(Big Sister)

I just have one simple question that may be kind of hard to answer: how do you get over a broken

Ivette says...

Getting your heart broken is not something easy to get over right away. Some important things to understand is that everyone goes through them, and that as hard as it seems, things will eventually get better. It may seem a little hard at first but try these things out: be comfortable, eat and sleep well. Being healthy is very important, and you should really take care of yourself. Yoga, meditation and other forms of passive exercises may help you cleanse yourself in spiritual, mental and physical ways. Self improvement is great too. Want to change something? Get a haircut or dye your hair! You can go to the mall and buy a nice dress to show off. Pamper yourself and feel pretty! Rely on your social support group too. Seek your Continue reading!

Published on March 7, 2010 by Ivette | No Comments | Read all recent Big Sister articles.

Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, girl, break up, boy, broken heart, how to get over a break up

Gross Generalizations Just Don’t Fit
(Ask A Guy)

Can you please help me decode my ex's behaviour? We were together for a couple of months about four years ago. I dumped him because I wasn't in a good place emotionally. Basically, I hurt him a lot. He was head over heels in love with me and treated me like a queen. Throughout all that time I have had relationships with other people but he

anonymous | age 24 | March 7, 2010

Daniel says...

I think you answered your own question here. When you dated this guy you knew him as someone who was extremely faithful, not the "multiple girl" type at all. It's a very logical leap to assume that someone who has a strong sense of faithfulness to his girlfriend would not like the idea of no-strings attached sex because it doesn't involve any manner of faithfulness and can be seen to betray your sense of devotion - whether that devotion is to some moral compass or just to whatever girl you may end up dating long-term. This is a particularly realistic assessment because he admitted as much!!!

When the two of you were emailing one another, this was little more than heavy flirting. It may have been something you wouldn't want

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Published on March 7, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, flirting, dating, gauging interest, no strings attached sex

International Film Music Critics Association
(Scandalicious)

In the realm of awards that very few people have heard of: On March 1, the International Film Music Critics Association (IFMCA) announced the winners of their 2009 awards. The results are as follows (with the winners bolded):

 

FILM SCORE OF THE YEAR

• AVATAR, music by James Horner
• DRAG ME TO HELL, music by Christopher Young
• STAR TREK, music by Michael Giacchino
• THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON, music by Alexandre Desplat
• UP, music by Michael Giacchino

FILM COMPOSER OF THE YEAR

• Alexandre Desplat
• Michael Giacchino
• James Horner
• Brian Tyler
• Christopher Young

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE FOR A DRAMA FILM

• AGORA, music by Dario Marianelli
• BAARÌA, music by Ennio Morricone
• CREATION, music by Christopher Young
• MAO’S LAST

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Published on March 7, 2010 by JamieG | No Comments | Read all recent Scandalicious articles.

Tags: imfca, awards

Just The Friend
(Ask A Guy)

I'm going to cut to the chase. Here is my problem: I am ALWAYS just the friend. Don't get me wrong, I love having guy friends but I feel like I am always just the friend. I am an attractive, smart, interesting person with a lot to offer that is more than just friendship. Most of my best friends are guys and they flirt with me and tell me

guitargrl | age 19 | March 6, 2010

Daniel says...

Part of this problem is one of perspective. You're not "getting put into the friend category" as much as you are putting yourself in the friend category. It's a common occurrence among girls who are friends with guys that they are often frustrated with their lack of relationship prospects. Unless the girl is the group bicycle (everyone gets a ride), she doesn't get physically close to anyone. And even in that case, she may be getting physically close but she's the furthest thing from emotionally close and she isn't actually developing relationships as much as recurring sex partners. What I'm trying to say is that guys have a hard time starting a relationship with people they're too close to. When you set yourself up as "one Continue reading!

Published on March 6, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, just the friend

Is Pain Normal?
(Sex Ed 101)

So, hopefully this isn't a stupid question. The other day things got heavy with my boyfriend and he ended up fingering me. It ended up hurting and I was a little sore afterwards. Is this normal? He is bit older than me and had several other girlfriends before me, so I'm pretty sure he knew what he was doing.

Sore | age 19 | March 6, 2010

JamieG says...

It's not a stupid question. There are two main possibilities I see for your situation: a lack of proper lubrication, or you not being relaxed enough. Either one of those can cause penetration (whether by fingers, penis, or anything else) to be uncomfortable. I suggest next time adding some lube into the equation, and seeing if that solves the Continue reading!

Published on March 7, 2010 by JamieG | No Comments | Read all recent Sex Ed 101 articles.

Tags: pain, fingering

A Date to the Dance
(Ask A Guy)

I need help. Sometimes boys can be just so confusing.

He's my best friend - has been for a while now. We get along so well and are great together. There's never an awkward moment between us and we can tell each other anything. All my other friends think the relationship between us is...weird. Everyone says we flirt a lot and most people

Anonymous | age 13 | March 6, 2010

Daniel says...

You don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to, and based on your behavior with this guy, he fully expected you to say that you wanted to go with him to the dance as an actual date. At the very least, he expected you to hedge because you were uncomfortable admitting your feelings for him (which is basically the path you followed). The two of you obviously trust one another very much and that trust is important because it makes it very unlikely that he would play games with you or put you in a position where you could be embarrassed or rejected. When two people have the history and the type of relationship the two of you do, they simply don't do things that could hurt one another.

What your friend was going was

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Published on March 6, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, converting a friendship, dances

Masturbation Tools
(Sex Ed 101)

So I'm 17 years old and I have been masturbating for about three years now. However, I am not old enough to purchase a dildo where I live. I am only able to satisfy myself with clitoral stimulation. I cannot orgasm from penetration with fingers (mine or anyone else's) and I don't want to have sex just yet. What can I do or what can I use

guilty | March 6, 2010

JamieG says...

First off, most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone, so you're completely normal on that count. I don't know where you live, but in some stores, they sell 'personal massagers' that are essentially vibrators - but since they're not explicitly for sexual purposes, there's no age limit on buying them. Lube is always a good thing as well, and you don't have to be eighteen to buy that, either. I've heard of women masturbating using showerhead massagers and such, as well. As far as things you should absolutely not use... Really, I'm not sure if there are many things that go on that list. Make sure that whatever you're using is clean, to avoid infection. Also, if you're looking to insert anything, make sure that (a) it won't cause Continue reading!

Published on March 7, 2010 by JamieG | No Comments | Read all recent Sex Ed 101 articles.

Tags: masturbation